A Time of Her Choosing
by Foxyinthecity
Summary: He took an oath to preserve life as a doctor. Based on some moments from Critical Mass.


**Title: ****A Time of Her Choosing**

**Episodes: Critical Mass**

**Summary: **He took an oath to preserve life as a doctor.

Characters: Carson and Teyla  
Type: Vignette

Comments: I've been trying to work on updates for certain fics. I started writing this fic sometime ago. I don't remember the reason for the fic. In fact, I had forgotten all about the fic. Yesterday I was talking to a co-worker and both of us were talking about our displeasure with autopsies. How degrading they were. Count yourself lucky in not seeing photos of them. Then I thought about my own mom that we lost earlier this year. And I was grateful that she didn't have one. And by coincident last night I found my notes for this fic. So I hope you like it.

Carson watched Teyla awhile as she stood on the balcony, her hands resting on the railing, the wind wiping up tendrils of her hair in the air, debating whether to approach her. It had been a couple of days since the passing of Charin. It was with sadness he watched Teyla lose Charin and his own sense of hopelessness. He had offered his assistance, but that assistance was met with refusal. The older woman had accepted her death and was ready to meet death. It was the younger woman who wanted to fight, then reluctantly, giving into the wishes of the older woman. It was his profession as a doctor that fueled his refusal to watch the woman die without providing any kind of treatment or assistance. He took an oath to preserve life as a doctor not to let someone die.

"_Doctor Beckett. Why was Charin moved in here?"__"So I could keep a closer eye on her -- tend to her if needed."__"I told you she does not wish for any treatment."__"You have to understand, Teyla, that as a doctor I can't just stand by here and let her die. I took an oath to preserve life."__"You may keep her here to make her comfortable, but if the time comes, as much as it pains both of us, we must not interfere."__  
_

But Charin was accepting of her circumstances. Accepting that her last few breathes were due to human frailty, not at the hands of the enemy that seems to have taken so many of her people before her. She had a choice where so many of her people or peers did not. Sometimes, the mind and body are not in sync, at any age. And the human body looses its vitality with the passage of time as with anything that ages. Charin seems to have accepted that and embrace it.

"_Always running. Always looking to the sky in fear. Soon I shall be free of this burden."__"Charin. Doctor Beckett said he can help you -- give you something to make you feel better, live longer."__"I feel fine, Teyla. I welcome this. This is not to be feared."_

But his hands were tied. How can he treat someone who doesn't want to be treated? Your respect their wishes and you give them the assistance that they allow you to give them.

Teyla is no stranger to death. As a doctor, death is a part of his job, acceptance or otherwise. The death of a beloved one is never easy. It is a lost that cuts to heart of who we are. Yet, dignity in death is a rarity. Our right to choose our demise; not a given, but when you make peace with yourself, your lack of your own invincibility and the evitable that is death, your fear not.

Maybe Teyla sense his presence, turning around to look in his direction interrupting his own reflections, her eyes fell on him. He smiled at her, moving away from the doorway to approach her by the railing.

"Dr. Beckett, hi."

"How are you doing?"

"I am well. (Teyla gives him a thoughtful look.) Dr. Beckett, I want to thank you for your help with Charin."

"Aye, love I wish I could have done more."

"Dr. Beckett, you did all that you could it was… it was her wish and we honor it. We were able to have the Ring Ceremony for her as she wished for and I am grateful for that. But I will miss her dearly."

Carson saw Teyla's eyes watered; her hand rising to brush the small droplet of water below her eyelid. Words escaped him for the moment. He didn't want to make Teyla cry any more than she probably had the last couple of days. Yet, being a doctor and a friend is sometimes the same thing.

"So, Teyla tell me about that song you sung at the Ring Ceremony."

Fin.

xxx


End file.
